To begin research for this blog we started with a general google to see what comes up. We typed in ‘ageing in your 40s’ and a flurry of headlines appeared: ‘how to prevent ageing in your 40s’, ’23 best anti-aging products’, and ‘the age when ageing begins’. It is clear from the off that society expects people (particularly women) to wallow, worry, and waste away their pay packet on miracle anti-ageing creams. This blog ignores all of that, and instead focuses on the thoughts and experiences that are sometimes the lesser told stories in our multi-faceted selves as we continue ageing.
IT IS NATURAL FOR CONFIDENCE TO FLUCTUATE
First off, we might have reached a stage where we feel that we ‘shouldn’t’ have any body image worries now and that such worries are for younger people. We are told confidence comes with age, but body image can be affected in different ways and at different times in our lives. It is natural for confidence to fluctuate. Research indicates that women face a myriad of factors that can influence how they feel about their bodies as they progress through life. These factors can include physiological shifts away from the young, female ideal; changing life priorities; or the cosmetic aspects of ageing, for example: feeling pressure to smooth the lines on your forehead or dye your grey hairs. A top tip from Ursula, our body confidence coach, is to embrace our ‘flaws’ and focus on self-love when faced with these worries or concerns.
Despite what magazines and makeup-brands will tell you, reaching 40 is a privilege. Don’t believe us? Read on...
THE AGEING PROCESS IS A GIFT
No other animal ages quite like a human being. We have this incredible process of transformation and change, often so slowly we almost don’t notice it. Some people say they don’t feel their age, and some do. Whatever our history and body story to date: we are here, we have survived, and our body is a living journey of all that has been. Our body contains the lessons we have learnt, the places we have been, and thousands of stories and memories that are ours to treasure and grow from.
There’s no wrong way to look, and you are always able to re-write your narrative, as well as have fun with your style. Historically, ageing is particularly tough for women in their 40s. They are criticised for dressing too young, described using phrases like ‘mutton dressed as lamb’ for simply for dressing as they please, or are chastised for dressing too plainly and ‘ageing themselves’. Luckily things are slowly changing. Fashion is a great way to express oneself at any age, but there’s never been a better time to say to ‘to hell with everyone, I’m wearing whatever I damn well like!’
Often the way we view being middle age is a question of perspective. In life, we all have the power of choice, and we can choose which lens we look through. Now you’re in your 40s, you have a real sense of self-awareness and perspective that wasn’t as present in your younger days. Do you remember being a teenager and feeling the enormity of problems? Do you remember being in your 20s and not feeling like you measured up? As an experiment, you can get out a photo of how you looked then and look compassionately at your younger self. Looking back, now do you see beauty? What do you know now that you wished you’d known then? There will be greater wisdom. There is absolutely no way you could have rushed the learning and growth that only comes with age. And guess what? When you’re 50, and then 60, you will look back at you, in your 40s right now and you’ll see all the love and beauty in you as you are here today, reading this.
A TIME TO DISCOVER WHAT YOU REALLY WANT…
Our Ldn Dares workshops have no age limit. We have had students who are in their 60s and 70s and their energy, their playfulness and the sparkle in their eyes have lit up the stage and the room. This is because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and in the presence, aura, and spirit of a person. Therefore, beauty has no age limit. Besides, when we remember people from our lives, we don’t remember what they said or what they did, or even what they looked like. We remember the way we felt being around them.
A lot of people switch up their life or feel they are just beginning their life in their 40s. They may previously have battled an eating disorder or struggled with their mental health in earlier years. They may have been unhappy in their job and not pursued what their heart really desired. Your 40s are a great time to be honest with yourself about where you are and what you want to achieve. If there are parts of your life you would like to change, then entering a new decade can be highly motivating. Being in your 40s is a real milestone. ‘Middle age’ is often the time we start to take our health more seriously too. If you are looking for a change, you could see a nutritionist or take up new physical exercise classes. Make the most of this time and focus on yourself to work out your dreams and goals.
GOING FORWARD…
Every New Year before meeting with friends, Founder Ursula Joy sits with herself for an hour and writes her goals for the year ahead, as well as ticking off or carrying over goals from the year before. This is a good way to think about what your body has taught you, or what events have shaped your body up until this point. These might be good fortunes or accidents. They may be traumas, genetic lineage, or daily habits. Think: what does your body protect? And what does your body need from you now the most? Self-reflection can also be a good way to be honest with ourselves and to uncover the goals or dreams we haven’t yet reached. Accept that it’s okay to let them go, if you want to. When we do this, we make space for new ambitions. The truth is, whatever you want to achieve in your 40s, you have plenty of time.